Occasionally, you might have rough patches in your relationship with your child, especially during the teenage years. It is also very normal for there to be times when your child seems to get on far better with some other. It’s very natural to be jealous, “How is it my girl only grunts at me and yet she chats away for ages with her friend’s mother?”, “My boy thinks everything I say is stupid, but if his coach says something it’s always brilliant.”
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In actual fact, if that other adult is a good influence, then you should be grateful that your child is getting some extra adult influence. Instead of responding with jealousy, welcome this added support for your child while you work on restoring your relationship with your child. If you criticise that other adult, you might just strain your relationship more and maybe make them even more loyal to the other adult.
Even if you do have a good relationship with your child, your youngster might be able to talk more frankly about their problems with another adult who isn’t as close as you are – especially if you are part of their problem.
Teenagers in particular can benefit immensely from a range of good adult role models. Build into your life the opportunities for your children to interact with other positive adult influences – your friends, relatives, church, sports clubs and so on. My emphasis, of course, is on ‘good’ adult role model – not all of them are good, not all of them are safe. Welcome the positive, but always keep your eyes open and your instincts switched on.
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