dad-and-daughters

Everyone loves a good dad joke

No matter how old you are, you’ll be familiar with the phrase, “Aaah, Daaad!” – the universal response to those oh-so-annoying, but secretly really funny jokes we call ‘dad jokes’. In honour of all the dad- comedians out there, we’ve gathered a few gems to share with you.

The classic dad jokes

  • “Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hello Hungry, I’m Dad.”
  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut.”
  • “How far away is dinner?” “About two metres.”
  • “Dad, please make me a sandwich.” “Poof! You’re a sandwich!”
  • “Hey Dad, I was thinking…” “I thought I smelled something burning.”

The eye-roll special

  • Last night I dreamed I was muffler. I woke up exhausted.
  • I’m terrified of elevators. I am going to start taking steps to avoid them.
  • I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  • What do you call cheese that is not your own? Nacho cheese.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

The nerdy dad joke

  • Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes.
  • 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
  • Have you heard of the band 123MB? They haven’t got a gig yet.
  • Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
  • What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

The witty dad joke

  • Two satellites decided to get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.
  • What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  • I’d like to give a big shout out to all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
  • I’ve just been diagnosed as colour blind. I know, it’s just come out of the purple.

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