Grace and gratitude

Being in a long-term relationship gives you lots of opportunities to discover annoying things about each other. Researcher Kira Birdett asked 800 people who was the most annoying person in their world and the most common answer was, their spouse! Much of the annoyance comes from the simple fact that they are different from you – they are who they are, and it is not their fault you chose them! But here is the mystery – some couples split apart but most do not. As they get older, the annoyance remains but they get used it, and they get on with it, and they love each other. Yes, some problems can be solved – there are wonderful problem solving techniques for couples  – but, honestly, a lot of stuff does not get sorted and, in the end, most people reckon it does not really matter.

The real keys are grace – which is generous, kind love that does not keep score – and gratitude, being thankful that they love you. Grace is knowing our partners are not perfect and loving them anyway; gratitude is recognising the truly good things about them and acknowledging the amazing privilege we have to share life with them. So embrace reality, and then embrace each other. Life is not always perfect, but with some grace and gratitude, you can have many perfect moments.

For more, check out John’s corner.

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John Cowan

Writer, speaker and broadcaster, John Cowan shares his insight and opinions about the latest in parenting and family news in New Zealand. Hear John speak on radio stations every week throughout the country and regularly on national TV.  Follow @JohnCowanNZ on Twitter

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