As an inveterate show-off, I love social media. I Tweet, I Instagram, and I’m an embarrassingly profligate Facebooker. But if I was a parent with young children, I would pause a little before posting pictures of them on social media. Posting is as permanent as a tattoo, and whatever you post about your children will be available to the world for the whole of their lives.
- Video: Why we don’t always want our kids to do as they’re told
- How to talk to your kids about: Online safety
- Technology – friend or foe in our children’s world?
It is now normal for every moment of a child’s life to be logged on social media from birth. According to internet security company AVG, a quarter of all children in the western world first debut on Facebook when a parent uploads their pre-birth scans. In 2010 (and 2010 is a long time ago on the internet), 81 percent of two year olds had a digital footprint. In 2015, the online safety site The Parent Zone claimed British parents posted on average 973 photos of their children before they turn five.
Does it matter?
The question everyone seems to be asking is, “Does this matter?” The big worry is that somehow paedophiles will get to our children, but in actual fact, this is probably not a realistic worry. According to Stephen Balkam of the Family Online Safety Institute, “Research shows that there is virtually no risk of paedophiles coming to get kids because they found them online.” There are predators, but their prey is usually young teenagers who respond to messages and comments through their own social media accounts, not via their parents’ activities.
The real risk is to our children’s privacy
Their privacy is something that will become vanishingly small and increasingly precious as they get further into this digital century. I don’t know you or your children but if I wanted to, I could find out a staggering amount just by doing some digging on the internet. Each week I research a different person for a radio show interview, and my guests are frequently amazed at the details I have been able to dredge up – even with my minimal skills, and by delving into legitimate sources.
How many of your child’s future security questions (first pet, mother’s maiden name etc.) are already available? And what personal information could cyber-criminals obtain? Young people might be ahead of us in this area. 76 percent of teenagers are concerned about their online footprint and may resent the fact that we put up embarrassing pictures of them before they could give consent.
My advice – use Instagram
You can share images just as easily as Facebook, but only to the specific people you want, like friends and family. Facebook’s privacy is too complicated and changing to guarantee that. The Family Online Safety Institute (fosi.org) has some very sensible tips to consider when posting photos.
Questions to ask when posting photos
- Is it a respectful picture?
- Are there other people in the picture?
- Did you ask their permission to post their picture?
- Is there anything over-exposed in this picture that you may regret later?
- If you are tagging people, did you ask their permission?
- Do you have your location turned off?
- Does this help limit who sees my children?
I have been a speaker on family matters for 20 years but I do not tell embarrassing stories about my kids or show pictures of them, apart from ones they themselves have approved. (People sometimes tease my kids, “I’ve heard all about you at your father’s talks!” but they know the truth – I do not talk about them.) One day our children will get to decide how much of their lives they display on social media and, of course, we hope they are wise. Until then, we are custodians of their permanent, online privacy. Let us be cautious and wise.
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