What parents need to know about porn today

Every parent wants their child to grow up to be a happy and confident adult. Today’s children are growing up in a digital era. It is rapidly-changing the world around them and they now have access to information that was previously reserved for adults. And because of this, many children are being exposed to porn.

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Most online porn is significantly more graphic than the magazines of yesteryear and studies are only just beginning to highlight some of the harmful effects porn can have. Internet pornography is highly accessible, free and normalises numerous unhealthy ideas about sex, relationships and consent.

What are some of the dangerous things that porn teaches young people?

Porn sex isn’t real

The actors that are paid to be in porn are acting. Sex scenes can last up to an hour and the actors have to pretend like enjoy it even if they don’t. So if porn is where young people are learning about sex, they can end up with unrealistic expectations for real life.

Porn doesn’t give people value

Porn doesn’t have value for a person’s intellect, personality, character, talents, passions or values.The only thing porn truly places value on is how sexually desirable a person’s body is. This leads many young people to the conclusion that how valuable they are as a person is directly linked to how sexually consumable they are.

Boys learn that sex is selfish

Most porn teaches boys that sex is something that they do to someone, not with someone. It also paints a picture that sex is all about their own pleasure and they don’t have to care about how the other person feels physically or emotionally.

Girls can learn that how they feel doesn’t matter

Most porn teaches girls that sex is something that gets done to them, not with them. It can teach their enjoyment physically and emotionally is not as important as their partner’s pleasure.

Porn doesn’t teach about consent

Porn doesn’t teach what loving, healthy, consensual sex in the context of a relationship truly looks like. Healthy sex happens when both people communicate clearly. Porn rarely shows good communication. In fact, some porn eroticises non-consensual sex acts.

Some ways to protect our tamariki

Even when you have clearly drawn a boundary, young people will still push against the restrictions. So make sure your child clearly knows where the boundary is. Many young people have no idea what they should and shouldn’t be looking at online because their parents have never discussed the restrictions. Create an agreement on when and where they can use their devices. Your kids actually like impressing you and don’t like disappointing you.

Make sure your kids know that the boundaries aren’t there to ruin their life. Young people are more likely to obey rules that they understand the reasons for. The boundaries are there so that they can have the best life possible. One of the easiest ways to protect your child is to tackle this technological issue technologically. Check out Safe Surfer for more ideas on how to technologically manage these boundaries.

This article is part of a paid partnership between Parenting Place and Safe Surfer

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About Author

Christian Gallen

Christian is a Senior Presenter and National Trainer for Attitude. He has spoken to over 100,000 young people nationwide during his long presenting career. Christian manages all the social media and online content for Attitude and is passionate about seeing young people make great choices online and offline.

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